Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Its Sad When Nite Falls..
Every time in the morning.. or when the day begins.. everything seems to be okay.. its juz study.. study.. do hw.. read.. do school stuff.. there is no time for u to think.. its so busy that the day juz passes by in a glance.. however.. when the nite falls.. it all becomes so sient that.. well.. u juz start thinking.. u dun have a schedule.. u juz have smth to complete.. however.. ther is no time limit.. and when u juz sit at the table for more than one hr.. u start to think..
Acualli.. things are often not wad they seem.. ppl who seem strong on the outside may be very weak on the inside.. they are the ones who need help.. this email flashed in my screen today.. sigh.. so simple to understand.. yet so difficult to realise.. I have a friend.. who really seems strong on the outside.. everyday I see her come back from school.. she is so cheery.. dun bother abt anything at all.. but often.. at nite.. I see her outside her door.. walking around in our shared corridor.. and sometimes.. she was crying.. why? Well.. she had a really close friend.. or shld I say.. boyfriend.. she was together with him since sec 1.. and she is sec 4 now.. 4 years of relationship.. yet the guy seems to be always at her beck and call.. and he really likes her a lot.. even a blind can tell.. but.. she was the one who initiated the break up.. and the guy was very disappointed and upset.. however.. my neighbour was juz so straight! She said she wanted to break up with him as he was talking too much of her time.. but I feel that there was more to it.. so she juz broke up.. then.. she said she din really have any hard feelings.. she juz felt that he brought it upon himself..
But now.. she is so upset.. the guy seems to have gotten over it.. it has been quite a long time.. but from the way he calls her every nite.. I can tell that he still harbours hope.. but she juz says tt the feeling wun be the same anymore.. sigh.. but she is so miserable now.. she doesn’t regret.. but.. I dunno.. seeing her made me realise tt I am no betta..
At least hers was more in her favour.. its simple.. she liked him.. and he liked her.. at least it was mutual.. but for me.. its very different.. I wld rather cut my sufferings short.. however.. after I asked HIM how he felt towards me.. we.. I dunno.. it juz seems different.. we are not like last time anymore.. and its juz one-sided.. I din even noe that tt wld be the last meeting with him.. its been exactly 8 months and 3 days.. nearly a yr like wad li jie said.. and I still think abt it.. I dun want to.. I cant help it.. I wanna forget.. budden.. come to think of it.. why? Cuz the memories bring back tears.. and I dun wanna be sad anymore.. I promised myself tt I wld not let myself be hurt again.. so why shld I care???? The whole world seems to turn against me now.. I can foresee its juz a dead end.. its such a fake life.. u are doing everything juz cuz everybody is doing so.. wad for? U are onli causing urself to have unnecessary unhappiness.. I guess.. I dun wanna see him anymore.. juz get him outta my life.. LIFE SUX BIG TIME!!
Zinc @ 10:04 pm
+
+
+
