Saturday, June 05, 2004
The Day After
How I wish I could juz sleep and after one night, pretend that nothing had happened.. wanting smses me and asked if I sent the correct msg to her.. and later she and wendy replied “ you alright oready arhz?”
How can that ever happen.. how can I be alright? If it was so easy, then I would not have been harping on it since 1st jan.. it has been 5 mths.. and now its not even been 5 days and u think I’m alright? How I wish.. I juz noe, things will nv be the same again.. I juz cant force out a smile anymore.. its tiring.. I juz cant.. Everything has taken a turn for the worse.. I have nv felt this empty and helpless before.. no one can help me.. thinking back.. it was better to juz keep on thinking abt it.. then sometimes juz feel happi to think that I have a little chance.. but now.. its no longer possible.. its horrible.. this feeling is truly horrible.. why is time passing so damned slow?? I have decided.. that its natural that guys are good to us.. the fact is, they muz be… cuz they are guys.. with this in mind.. I can ensure that I will not get hurt again.. I will be hard-hearted.. who cares? Elinae is smart.. she does things to ensure that she doesn’t get hurt.. I shld learn from her.. she’s forever so happi.. I’m going to build a wall around my heart.. dun expect me to feel sorry for anyone.. so wad if everyone hates me? As long as I dun get hurt again, I dun care..
It’s the holidays.. and I noe that life will never be the same again.. Christmas will be so boring and bland this year.. I dun yearn for anything.. I dun wanna see him again.. let him disappear from my life.. I dun wanna be reminded.. wad else can I hope for? Nothing.. if only I can juz bury my head in books and study and study.. Why? Why? I hate my life.. you cant have high hopes in life.. cuz if you do.. u will definitely be disappointed.. lyk mi…………
Zinc @ 10:33 pm
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