Saturday, April 17, 2004
How Could Things Change So Fast??
Actualli today four of us lyk i said yesterday were supposed to go Sentosa de.. sigh.. but had a change of plans as wang huan's mom dun let her go.. sigh.. so i was supposed to meet elaine outside audi after i'm done..
I had external library challenge in the morn.. so it went through quite smoothly.. den 10 schools came to our school for the hallenge.. they came much much earlier than expected.. so we were in quite a fluster larhz.. then after the reception.. we were juz abt to clear up.. then we heard fr xiang ting and joy that they saw the caterer's van.. so we had to go check it out.. den the caterer was really here.. so we confirmed if he was the one.. den he asked us if the tables we put there were for the refreshments.. so we said yes.. den he walked away b4 we could say anything..
Mrs Chew den came over and asked.. where's the caterer? so i told her tad he wa;lked away after we told him those were the tables for the refreshments.. den u noe wad she said? she went.. are you all dumb or wad??? cant u all ask him if he needs any help? juz stand there.. den she walked away.. so we complaine larhz.. den the caterer came back with the food.. and we had to stand there to look after it.. and to salivate all over it!!! argh!!
After thet we had an election.. i was nominated for leader.. so surprising.. haha.. me this type of ppl get nominated.. tsk tsk.. but wun get in one larhx.. got other veri good candidates.. haha.. den liyan took me to see who is marcus chew.. whom she said was the best looking one among her class.. and he veri ugly.. tsk tsk..
Okay.. den in the end wang huan was able to come with us.. we went to plaza sing.. first walk in walk out.. den those ppl raising funds for The Straits Times Pocket Money Fund were so damned rude lohz!! i was juz about to donate.. den got put off.. den got one guy even came to say he knows us.. then he says wad peiyi fr 4/15.. i dun think there's such a class this yr lehz.. haha..
Then we went to McDonalds to eat.. den go look in the body shop.. i looking for mother's day prezzie for mi mom.. essential oil and candles.. den i found both in spotlight.. wonder if anyone thinks that eucalyptus as a very nice smell? or just nice? oh.. and i bought smth else.. den we went to take neoprint.. quite nice larhz.. and thus.. i have come out with a conclusion.. i look better with my hair let down when taking neos..
Here's the worst part.. i decided to get rid of the present.. rmb.. the one i bought for the jerk? ya.. den he was lyk dun wanna come.. ask us to go down to potong pasir instead.. den still say he is studying.. ask us to go home and study too.. and he told elaine to tell mi to stop being crazy.. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Tads it!! i wun take anymore of this nonsense.. at first.. i felt hatred.. i hate him for toying around with mi feelings.. i hate him!! he's a jerk!! i just hate him.. i really do.. den i felt this funny kind of feeling.. perhaps.. i should not let myself be put to all this hurt again.. maybe i should cut off all ties with him.. i am really veri upset.. i just hope this wld be the last time.. elaine kept on asking if i was okay.. wad else can i say? when we were on the travellator.. i asked elaine.. would u believe me if i told u i was happy? she shook her head.. i asked her if she wld believe if i told her i was glad.. again, she shook her head.. den i told her i really am glad.. glad that this final thing finaly made me realise that i shld not be naive anymore.. yes.. things might have a positibe side.. but not for my case.. it's over.. i tell myself..
On the train.. i was thinking about how lucky elaine is.. shaun is so good to her.. wadeva happens.. he will be there for her.. wad abt me? at the very last min.. just b4 my stop.. i handed the red paper bag to elaine.. inside were the presents for him.. i told elaine.. if one day.. u happen to pass it to him.. just ask mi.. do u still remember a red paper bag? if i do.. den tell mi u gave it to him.. if i dun.. then dun say anthing..
But i thought.. i will rmb.. i will rmb it for the rest of my life.. how i got hurt again and again.. how those few happy moments spoilt the many months after.. i slould have chosen not to have those moments.. they are useless anyway.. they only add on to ur miseries.. but one day.. shld elaine come and ask mi that.. even if i rmb it.. i will tell her.. no.. i dun rmb it.. wad for bring up the past when u know it will nv come back.. tads me.. wo3 na2 de2 qi3 dan4 fang4 bu3 xia4.. mayb it's time i rew up.. mayb it's time to let the past go and stop clinging to it.. death will come one day.. how long can u cling on to it? u will have to let go someday.. why not earlier?
Trying so hard to hold back my tears.. but i failed.. they rolled down my cheeks.. i wiped them off.. and promised myself that this will be the last time i'm crying.. i wun let myself get hurt again..
As far as i know.. i only have one brother.. he lives in the same house as me.. he has the same blood as me.. and yes.. i had a nice time on the cruise.. but no.. i nv met someone called WK.. and i dunno anyone by tad name.. i only know whos yi kai.. from this very moment of my life.. i have pemanently erased him fr my mind....
Zinc @ 10:56 pm
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