Monday, April 05, 2004
Can't Believe It!!!!!!!
Guess wad? i completely din have xin1 li1 zhun3 bei4.. elaine told me tad there was no reply.. but who knows.. the folder tad she showed me smashed my life..
She sent another msg at abt 10.53.. den a reply came--"if u wanna tok to me.. dun tok to me abt her.." wad does tad mean???????????? why donch u wanna tok abt me??????? is it so difficult to give just a one-word answer??????? Just say either yes or no!!!!!!! no one told u.. stupid dumb dumb.. to waste so much smses!!!! isnt it soooooooo much easier to just say no?!?!?!?!?
Why did i go for the cruise??? if only i din go.. den all these things wld not have happened.. wad for go thru all these? just for tad few moments of happiness???? u hear tad??? let me tell u this.. u noe hu u r.. I HATE YOU!!! FUCK U!! FOR ALL I CARE.. U CAN GO TAKE A LEAP OFF A 20-STOREY BUILDING BUT I WILL ONLY STAND AT THE BOTTOM SAYING.. I DUN NOE THIS PERSON.. u hear tad??? i dun care.. qu4 si3 ba!!!
But still.. to every circumstances.. unless there is a positive answer.. there will be another side of it.. like.. the positive side.. unless the answer is no.. i will still keep on thinking abt it.. u understand? its hard to just forget abt it.. i cant do it.. i very zhong4 gan3 qing2 de.. i cant juz 4get lyk tad.. it's not poss... elaine.. i noe its hard on you.. but.. can u pls try again? thx..
Wad else can i do? Normally crazy de wo.. now bcum lyk.. dead person.. as in the last yr lyk tad.. no longer lively.. no longer cheerful..i dun wanna be lyk this.. when i try to get some ways to 4get this.. they all say i shld not do this.. but do u understand how i feel?? no!! u have nv tried it b4.. of cuz u will say this type of things.. cant u stand in my shoes and look at the situation? it's not as easy as u think.. my mind is not a piece of paper.. the memories in it are not just writings.. they are imprinted there.. and whether i like it ornot.. it will stay there for the rest of my live.. unless anything happens and i lose my memory.. tads betta.. isn't it.. my memories cant be lyk.. i dun wan it anymore.. so i erase it away.. it's not as simple as that.. i cant bring myself to do it..
You all say i shld not go on lyk tad.. but can i help it?? no!! i cant help the way i feel.. if i feel like tad.. tads it! i cant change it!! it takes time.. not just a few days will do the tricks.. i need to be occupied.. and even if i could.. i wld have 4gotten it long ago!! it wld not have tuo1 until now le!!! There muz always be hope in life.. isn't tad wad every 1 says? but why cant i have a little hope in this? is it wrong.. are u all trying to tell me that i shld have no hope in life.. and have every single min of my life occupied.. and just erase off all my memories? den i cant do it.. cuz its impossible.. can i just request tt at this point of time.. the 5 of u all.. dun tok abt it anymore.. amnd just try and keep me occupied with other things? pls?
Zinc @ 4:56 pm
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